Alvin and the Chipmunks do Hairspray
by EGB Fan
Summary: The Chipmunks and Chipettes star in a school production of the musical Hairspray, but not everyone is happy with the casting.


**Alvin and the Chipmunks do **_**Hairspray**_

Dave was cooking dinner when Alvin, Simon and Theodore arrived home from school one Friday, each clutching a sheaf of papers and looking rather subdued.

'Hi, fellas,' said Dave, as they filed into the kitchen. 'Are those your parts for _Hairspray_?'

'Yes,' said Simon. 'Theodore and I are playing a married couple.'

'Oh,' said Dave. 'Well… that should be fun. Right, Theodore?'

'Yeah, maybe,' said Theodore, who was staring at his script with a blank look.

Dave turned his gaze onto Alvin, who was flipping over his pages at lightning speed with a frown on his face.

'What part did you get, Alvin?' asked Dave.

'Hmm?' Alvin glanced up briefly, then turned his attention back to his script. 'I got Link.'

'Well, that's great, Alvin - it's the male lead.'

'Huh!' said Alvin. 'Some lead! I only get one solo, and there's whole sections without me in them!'

'Oh,' said Dave. 'Well, Alvin, I'm always telling you, you have to share the spotlight sometimes. It's still a big part.'

'Yeah, I guess,' said Alvin, not sounding convinced. 'Well, I'd better go start practising my solo. Call me when dinner's ready, okay?'

Alvin ran from the room, with Dave calling after him, 'Don't forget your homework, Alvin! ALVIN!'

'I hear you, Dave!' Alvin's voice called back from some distance away.

Dave then turned to Simon and Theodore, and asked, 'Are you guys happy with your parts?'

'I'm happy enough with mine,' said Simon. 'I'm playing Tracy's father, Wilbur.'

'I see,' said Dave. 'So… that means Theodore's playing her mother?'

'Yeah,' said Theodore, still gazing expressionlessly at his script.

'Well, that's a great part.'

'I know. I just…'

'What, Theodore?'

'I wonder why Mr Rochelle wanted me to play a middle-aged woman.'

'Somebody has to do it, Theodore,' said Simon. 'Mr Rochelle must think you're up to the challenge. It's a far stretch from Mr Hyde - that's a real compliment. I mean, look at Alvin. He won't exactly be stretching himself, playing a shallow, attention seeking moron.'

'A man always plays the part of Edna Turnblad,' Dave added. 'It's kind of a joke.'

'A joke, huh?' said Theodore.

'Well,' said Dave, 'no, not a _joke_ exactly. It's more a… um…'

'It's okay, Dave. I understand.'

Theodore mooched out of the room with his head down and his shoulders slumped, his script hanging limply from his right hand. Dave and Simon both gazed after him, wearing expressions of concern. From upstairs, they could clearly hear Alvin belting out the first verse of Link's signature song, 'It Takes Two', accompanied by the CD copy of the show's score that each cast member had been given.

'I really thought Theodore had gained confidence after _Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde_,' said Dave.

'Me too,' said Simon, 'but I can see why he's not comfortable with playing Edna. It's too bad - it really is a good part for him. I guess I'll talk to him about it later.'

'Thanks, Simon. So, who else is in the show? What parts did the girls get?'

'You know the show, Dave,' said Simon, 'and you know the girls. Can't you guess?'

-.-.-

'Brittany,' said Eleanor, 'I wish you'd stop sulking. Amber's a great part!'

'I'm not sulking,' said Brittany. 'I'm thinking.'

'_What_ are you thinking?' asked Eleanor.

The Chipettes were in their living room, going over their lines and songs. Jeanette was reclining on the sofa and quietly flicking through her script, her look of worry increasing with each line she read. Brittany sat in an armchair, with Eleanor standing a little way in front of her.

'Well,' said Brittany, 'actually, I was thinking about when you called me a glory hog. You may have been right then, but you can't say I'm one anymore. You got the female lead in _Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde_, and now this!'

'But Brittany,' said Eleanor, 'you wouldn't want to be cast as Tracy, would you?'

'No,' said Brittany. 'I just wish…'

'What? We were doing a different show?'

'I don't know, maybe.'

'But it's a _great_ show! I'm really excited about it.'

'Do you want to play Penny, Brittany?' asked Jeanette. 'She has so many lines!'

'Then who would play Amber?' asked Brittany. 'You? No, Jeanette, Mr Rochelle was right - I know that really. Who else but me could play a beautiful and talented, but heartless and shallow brat?'

'Right,' said Jeanette. 'And who else but me could play a clumsy nerd?'

'Hey!' said Eleanor. 'What is this? Don't say you're going to get paranoid about the parts you've been given. It's just a show, and it's going to be fun! Look, we get to do a song together right near the beginning.' She found the relevant page on her script and waved it in her sisters' faces.

'What about you, Ellie?' asked Brittany. 'You're not offended that you were asked to play… well…?'

'What,' said Eleanor, 'a fat girl? Of course not. There's so much more to her character than that. Tracy and I are kindred spirits, Brittany.'

'Apart from the romance with Alvin,' said Jeanette.

'Yeah,' said Brittany. 'That'll take some acting.'

'I can handle it,' said Eleanor. 'And so can Alvin, I'm sure.'

'What about the kiss?' asked Jeanette.

'Kiss?' Brittany sat up a little and began flicking hastily through her script. 'What kiss? You don't _have_ to kiss him, do you? I mean, it's just a school production. No one expects kissing.'

'Actually,' said Eleanor, 'it's in the script. Look, right near the end: "LINK: Tracy, if I don't kiss you now I just might bust a gut. TRACY: Well, I certainly wouldn't want you to hurt yourself. _They kiss_." Yeah, so that should be… challenging.'

'So you really do have to kiss Alvin,' said Brittany. 'Poor you.'

'Are you okay with that, Brittany?'

'Of course. Why wouldn't I be okay with it? I mean jeez, Eleanor, it's only acting. And even if it wasn't, Alvin can kiss who he wants. Why should I care? I don't care.'

'Okay, good,' Eleanor said uncertainly. 'Anyway, it _is_ only acting, remember?'

'Of course I do!'

'Just like you're acting being shallow and heartless, Brittany,' said Jeanette. 'None of this stuff is a big deal. Right, Eleanor?'

'Of course not,' said Eleanor. 'If this show had anything to do with real life, I'd have an issue with Theodore being cast as my mother, but it is _just a show_! It sounds like the biggest issue anyone's going to have is you with all your lines, Jeanette.'

'And me not having enough,' said Brittany, who had collapsed back into the armchair and was scowling at her script. 'And what about songs? Look at this. I get the one with you two and our moms, and then this really weird solo near the end, and practically nothing else! What the heck _is_ this, anyway? "_She's got cooties… Get Rod Serling on the phone…_"'

'I'm sure I'll be all right with the lines, Ellie,' said Jeanette. 'Hey, why don't we run through our song? We can do it without the mothers - it's mostly just the three of us.'

'I bet Miss Miller would read for them,' said Eleanor. 'I'll go find her.'

Eleanor left the room and made her way upstairs.

'I do not get this song,' said Brittany, who was still looking at 'Cooties'. 'It's hardly a showcase for my talents.'

'It's a comedy song, Brittany,' said Jeanette. 'If you do it really well, you'll make people laugh.'

'Laugh?' She looked disgusted. 'I'm a pop princess, not some novelty act! Just look at all Eleanor's solos, about being in love and wanting to be a dancer and stuff. Why can't I have songs like those? Mr Rochelle does not appreciate my talents!'

'Look on the bright side, Brittany. At least he didn't cast you as a tree this time.'

'I found her!' said Eleanor, coming into the room ahead of Miss Miller, who was wearing a towelling robe and dripping bubbles onto the floor.

'Oh, I'm so proud of you girls!' said Miss Miller. 'And you got cast in the lead again, Eleanor! You're turning into quite the little actress. Why, I remember when I wasn't much older than you, I played the lead in -'

'Let's just do the song, okay?' said Brittany, standing up and thrusting her script at Miss Miller. 'You're doing the mom parts.'

-.-.-

Long after the Chipettes had finished their run-through of 'Mama, I'm a Big Girl Now', Dave and the Chipmunks continued to hear songs from _Hairspray_ wafting over from next door. Eleanor practised a couple of her solos, and when Alvin was brushing his teeth in the evening, he heard her and Jeanette singing the song they'd have to sing with him and the boy who had been cast as Seaweed, Jeanette's love interest. Brittany was taking that part, and Miss Miller the part of Link.

'Trace,' she cried, as the song switched to regular dialogue, 'I wanna kiss you!'

'Then I can't wait for parole!' came Eleanor's reply.

Then all four resumed singing together. '_'Cause without love_…'

Alvin put down his toothbrush and went through to the bedroom, his brow puckered in thought. He found Simon and Theodore both there, sitting on Simon's bed and apparently having a serious conversation.

'I knew it!' said Alvin. 'You're worried about the show, aren't you, Theodore?'

'Well,' said Theodore, 'a little.'

'I completely understand,' said Alvin, going to sit on his own bed between Simon and Theodore's. 'You're worried about me having to kiss Eleanor. Well, let me assure you that I have absolutely no romantic interest in her whatsoever. It's just acting.'

'Whereas if you _were_ interested in her,' Simon said dryly, 'you'd be able to put her under your spell with a mere two-second staged kiss. Is that right?'

Alvin laughed. 'Don't be ridiculous, Simon. We'll have to kiss for more than two seconds.'

'That isn't what's worrying him, Alvin. You may find this hard to believe, but it has nothing to do with you.'

'Oh?' Alvin at once looked concerned, and shifted his gaze onto Theodore. 'Well then, what is it? Don't you want to play Edna, Theodore?'

'Well,' said Theodore, 'I'm not sure I'm completely comfortable with it. I know that everything Dave and Simon have been saying is true. It's a great part, and Edna's always played by a man just for fun, and it isn't insulting to be asked. It's just that… well, look at this song I have with Simon, for one thing. I don't know if I want him singing "you're fat and old" at me in front of all those people.'

'I'll be singing _with_ you, Theodore, not at you,' said Simon, 'and I really think you're right for the part. This is a woman coming to terms with her body image. Her journey carries such a positive message.'

'But if you don't want to do it,' said Alvin, 'you don't have to. If you're not going to enjoy it, there's no point.'

'Of course he'll enjoy it,' said Simon. 'It's a great show, and it'll help him with his confidence.'

'Well, maybe he's tired of everyone trying to help him with his confidence all the time. Maybe this time he just wants to sit back and watch the show.'

'No, he wants to be _in_ the show! He just needs a bit of encouragement.'

'Oh, stop it!' said Theodore, getting to his feet to stand between his brothers' beds, glaring. 'I'm sick of you two always arguing over what's best for me. Doesn't it ever occur to you to wonder what _I_ think?'

Alvin and Simon, surprised by this sudden outburst, exchanged a look that Theodore did not like. He turned his back on his brothers and made his way to his own bed.

'We're sorry, Theodore,' said Simon.

'You know it's only because we care about you,' Alvin added.

'Yeah,' said Theodore, his expression softening as he climbed into bed. 'I know.'

'So,' said Alvin, 'what _do_ you think? Do you want to play the part or not?'

'I'm not sure,' said Theodore. 'I know that Simon's right, and it should be a really good part for me, and it _would_ be kind of fun to play Eleanor's mother and do those songs with her - and the one with you, Simon. But on the other hand… well, I'm not sure I'd be very good at portraying someone coming to terms with their body image.'

Alvin and Simon exchanged another one of those looks.

'I know I have to decide quickly,' Theodore went on, before either of them had a chance to jump in, 'so Mr Rochelle can replace me… if I decide not to do it.'

'So, how can we help you decide?' asked Simon.

'I don't know.'

'Let's have a look at this song with Simon first,' said Alvin, jumping to his feet and retrieving his script from under his bed. 'How about if we sing it for you? I'll be Edna, and you see if you think you can do it as well as I can.'

Simon rolled his eyes. 'Alvin…'

'That might help,' said Theodore.

'Great!' said Alvin. 'Just let me get changed.'

Two minutes later, Alvin had found himself a blond wig and an effeminate sheet to drape round his shoulders, and had shoved his soccer ball and his basketball down his front. Theodore was already in fits of giggles before the song even started, and by halfway through Simon was struggling to keep a straight face.

'Wilbur, this is no time to laugh,' said Alvin, causing Theodore to collapse into a heap of guffaws. 'Your daughter's in jail, your wife's out on parole…'

This did not help Simon to stop laughing, and soon Alvin was at it too. Eventually, however, they all managed to calm down, and Simon and Alvin made it to the end of their song and dance without further incident.

'_You'll always be first string_,' sang Alvin, as he and Simon waltzed between the beds, clutching Simon's copy of the script between them in their clasped hands.

'_Ring-a-ding-ding_,' sang Simon.

'_You're timeless to me_,' they sang together, repeating the refrain twice before Alvin spun round under Simon's arm, and they finished with an awkward dip.

'That was great!' said Theodore, crying with laughter as Alvin's basketball fell out of his sheet with a thud. 'I don't know if I can be as funny as that, Alvin.'

'You won't know unless you try,' said Alvin, as he began disassembling his costume. 'Would you like to borrow my balls?'

'Maybe not tonight,' said Theodore. 'I've got all weekend to decide, haven't I?'

'Of course you have,' said Simon. 'Well then, if that's all, I think I'd better get ready for bed.'

He reached under his pillow to retrieve his neatly folded pyjamas, and then made his way into the adjacent bathroom. Alvin began pulling on his own pyjamas, which lay crumpled at the foot of his bed.

'Will I have to wear balls down my front on the night, Alvin?' asked Theodore.

'Well,' said Alvin, 'maybe not balls, but you'll have to have something.'

'I wish you were doing costumes again, like you did for the Thanksgiving pageant.'

'Really? Why? I know I was good, but…'

'It's not that. I mean, you _were_ good, but… well, I don't know if I want those girls… you know… measuring me, and trying dresses on me.'

'Oh,' said Alvin, 'I see. Well, maybe we can do something about that.'

'Really?' said Theodore, his eyes going saucer-wide.

'Sure. Does this mean you want to do the show?'

'I don't know, maybe. I guess I might enjoy it.'

'I'm sure you will. It's going to be fun.'

'It is?'

'Absolutely. Now, you sleep on it, and then we'll practise some scenes over the weekend, okay? And we'll get the girls to help.'

'Okay,' said Theodore. 'But don't tell them I'm… you know…'

'Of course not.'

'Thanks, Alvin.'

-.-.-

On Saturday afternoon, Alvin answered the door to the Chipettes with a red dress draped over his left arm.

'Ooh, pretty dress, Alvin,' said Jeanette.

'Yeah, it's nice,' said Brittany. 'It could use a few sequins, though.'

'Give me a chance,' said Alvin, as he ushered them inside. 'I've only had this morning to work on it.'

'What do you mean?' asked Brittany.

'I made it.'

'You did not!'

'Yes I did.'

'Why?' asked Eleanor.

'For the show,' said Alvin. 'The costume department has a lot to do, so it'll save them time if I do a few costumes for Theodore at home.'

'I don't understand,' said Brittany. 'Since when do you make dresses?'

'I don't, normally, but I learned when I did the costumes for that Thanksgiving pageant, remember? Oh, that's right - you weren't in it.' His voice filled with mock tragedy at these last words, and Brittany shot him a dirty look as she passed him into the living room, where Simon and Theodore were waiting on the sofa.

'So which scenes are we doing, anyway?' asked Brittany. 'The six of us don't do anything together, or at least not without all the rest of the cast.'

'We can fill in for other parts,' said Alvin, 'like you guys were doing last night. I heard you doing "Welcome to the Sixties", Eleanor, with Miss Miller as Edna. Let's do that one now - then we can try my dress! Jeanette and Brittany, you and I can be that girl group - what are they called?' He retrieved his script from an armchair and flicked to the right page. 'The Dynamites.'

'You want to be a Dynamite?' Brittany asked sceptically.

'Sure,' said Alvin. 'Wait here and I'll go get ready. Simon, you can be the ensemble and sing those couple of lines the store people have. Oh, and you can be in charge of the CD.'

With that, Alvin left the room. Simon went over to the sound system, while Theodore made no move to get up from the sofa. Eleanor sat down beside him and said, 'Are you okay, Theodore?'

'I'm fine,' said Theodore. 'It's just that I haven't practised this song yet. Simon and I have been doing "You're Timeless to Me" all morning while Alvin was working on the dress.'

'Never mind,' said Eleanor. 'That's what practice sessions are for. This is the part I'm looking forward to performing the most, Theodore. It'll be fun.'

She beamed at him, and Theodore gave her a weak smile in return. Then he burst out laughing when Alvin swaggered back in wearing high-heeled shoes, the blond wig from the previous night and a dress he had improvised from his bedclothes.

'You look ridiculous,' said Brittany.

'Stop looking in the mirror, Brittany, and come over here,' said Alvin. 'You too, Jeanette. I want to show you how this dress works. We have to put it on Theodore during the song, so I've tried to make it really easy to slip on and off.'

While Alvin was demonstrating this feat of design to Brittany and Jeanette, Eleanor stood up and pulled Theodore to his feet.

'Ready, Theodore?' she asked.

'I guess,' said Theodore, picking up his script.

'Great!' said Alvin. 'We're ready too. Hit it, Simon!'

Simon started the music track playing, and then Eleanor began to sing: '_Hey Mama, hey Mama, look around. Everybody's groovin' to a brand new sound…_'

As she sang, Alvin did a very camp dance behind her with Jeanette and Brittany, eliciting giggles from both of them, and from Theodore. The girl group then joined in with the chorus, and in the middle of the song they had a few lines of their own, occasionally backed up by Simon. It was at this point that they had to try and get Theodore into the dress without breaking their rhythm. Jeanette seemed to forget all about that part, so Alvin and Brittany together worked him into it.

'_Don'tcha let nobody try to steal your fun_,' Alvin sang with great enthusiasm, wiggling his hips as he pulled Theodore into the dress, '_'cause a little touch of lipstick never hurt no one_.'

As he finished and Brittany took over with her part, Alvin pulled an effeminate pose and puckered his lips at Theodore, causing him to start laughing again.

Brittany and Jeanette sang their parts, then Alvin and Simon joined them for, '_Step on out, hear us shout…_'

'Mama, that's your cue!' cried Eleanor.

Then Theodore started to sing, matching everyone else's enthusiasm as he put his arm around Eleanor and began, '_Hey Tracy, hey baby, look at me…_'

Once Theodore's verse was over, all that remained were several refrains sung at great volume, and one instance of Brittany belting out, '_Welcome to the "six" to the "O" to the apostrophe "S"!_'

At the end of the song, Simon remarked, 'I'm not sure there should be in apostrophe in "60s", actually.'

'It's in the lyrics,' said Brittany. 'You'll just have to live with it.'

Just then Dave popped his head around the door, and said, 'That sounded great, guys. Would you like something to drink before you do the next one?'

Two minutes later, the six chipmunks were all settled on the three piece suite sipping glasses of lemonade.

'Isn't it time to take off the wig and stuff now, Alvin?' asked Brittany.

'I will in a minute,' said Alvin.

'I think maybe you enjoyed that a little _too_ much,' Brittany went on. 'You really don't mind dressing up as a girl, do you?'

'I guess I've done it once or twice,' said Alvin, 'when I really had to. I don't mind because I'm secure in my masculinity. So how about the dress, Theodore? Was it okay getting into it?'

'It was great, Alvin,' said Theodore. 'And it's really comfortable as well.'

'Good. I'll finish it tomorrow, and then we can try it again with the adjustments.'

'Wow,' said Brittany. 'You must be _really_ secure in your masculinity.'

'What song shall we do next?' asked Eleanor, who was flicking through her script. 'Most of us are in the finale, but we'd probably need a lot more people to rehearse that one. Three of us are in "Without Love" - we could try that.'

'Four of us are in "Mama I'm a Big Girl Now",' said Brittany. 'We should do that.'

'Why?' said Alvin. 'Because you're in it?'

'Why _not_?' said Brittany. 'Because you're _not_ in it?'

'Hey,' Alvin said with a shrug, 'no skin off my nose. I'll have way more than you to do on the night. How many songs do you have, anyway? Just the two with solos, is it? That's too bad. You know, I don't think the show even needs those two songs. Maybe I'll have a word with Mr Rochelle about cutting them out.'

'Don't you dare!' said Brittany. 'A production of _Hairspray_ without those two songs is no production at all. "Mama I'm a Big Girl Now" is one of the best ones, and it needs "Cooties" for the finale to make sense.'

'He's only trying to be funny, Brittany,' said Simon, 'and failing, as usual. Come on, let's do "Mama I'm a Big Girl Now". Alvin and I will be the other two mothers.'

'I'm not having Alvin as _my _mother,' said Brittany.

'Fine,' said Simon. 'Then I'll be yours, and Alvin can be Jeanette's. Now let's stop bickering and get on with it.'

The girls performed 'Mama I'm a Big Girl Now', backed up by the boys, with the same levels of skill and confidence that they took to professional concerts. Then they moved onto 'Without Love', Brittany taking the part of Seaweed with Simon's blessing. He fancied that Jeanette looked a little disappointed when he declined the part, but he was glad of the opportunity to take Theodore into the kitchen to talk.

'Well?' Simon asked. 'What do you think?'

'I'll do it,' said Theodore. 'You guys were right - that _was_ fun. And if I can do it here, I can do it in front of everyone in the auditorium. Eventually.'

'Good,' said Simon. 'Alvin making a spectacle of himself helped, did it?'

'He was just trying to make it fun for me, Simon. And he went to all the trouble of making me that dress.'

'Yes, that was good of him. So you're completely comfortable with it now?'

'Yeah, I'm fine. Let's have something to eat.'

Theodore switched on the kettle, then climbed onto a stool and began rifling through the cupboards, as Simon listened to the last few verses of 'Without Love'. When the song had finished, Brittany and Jeanette came into the kitchen, while from the living room wafted the opening chords of Alvin's solo, 'It Takes Two'.

'Would you guys like some tea and cake?' asked Theodore.

'Thank you, Theodore, we'd love some,' said Jeanette, as she and Brittany sat down at the table. 'Well, that was fun. It should be a great show. Oh, listen - Alvin's sounding good on that solo, isn't he?'

'Don't let him hear you say that,' said Simon. 'We don't want to encourage him.'

'The show would be a lot better if I had more songs,' said Brittany.

'At least you have a solo,' said Theodore, as he handed out the tea and cake. 'Maybe you'd like to sing it for us later.'

'Well… no, not today,' said Brittany, shifting a little in her chair and stabbing at her slice of cake with her fork. 'I need to work on it a little first.'

'Oh, there goes Eleanor,' said Jeanette, as the backing vocals for Alvin's song became audible. 'Wow, they sound really good together.'

'They should,' said Brittany, still playing with her food. 'They're playing the leads.'

-.-.-

'I thought that sounded great,' said Alvin, beaming as the song came to an end, and Eleanor stopped the CD. 'You were good too, Eleanor.'

'Thank you, Alvin.'

'Let's go into the kitchen with the others. I think they might be having tea and cake.'

'All right,' said Eleanor. 'But before we do… what about this kiss?'

'What about it?' asked Alvin.

'I thought maybe we should have a little practice.'

'What, right now?'

'No,' said Eleanor, 'not right now. We're missing tea and cake time, for one thing. Can you come over tomorrow?'

'Sure,' said Alvin. 'But not until the afternoon, when Theodore's dress is finished. You're not, um… _worried_ about kissing me, are you?'

'No, not really. But we don't want it to look awkward on stage or anything.'

'Why would it look awkward? I'm an expert at that sort of thing.'

'Alvin,' said Eleanor, 'we all know about your endless talents, but the rest of us need the practice. So you'll come over?'

'Sure,' Alvin said with a shrug. 'Now let's go have some tea and cake.'

-.-.-

When Eleanor answered the door to Alvin on Sunday afternoon, she fancied that he did not look quite as confident as he had made himself out to be. She showed him to the living room, and they both sat on the sofa clutching their scripts.

'How's Theodore?' Eleanor asked.

'Fine,' said Alvin, clearly wondering why she had asked.

'He seemed kind of weird yesterday,' Eleanor went on, 'at least to start off with. I thought maybe he wasn't happy about his part in the show. You didn't dress up like that to make _me_ laugh, did you?'

'Well, he wasn't sure about it at first. But he's okay now.'

'Good. People are getting far too worked up over all this, if you ask me. It's only a school show - it's supposed to be fun. Which is why no one needs to be weird about you and me kissing.'

'Right,' said Alvin, with an awkward laugh. 'Who's being weird? So, are we… you know… alone?'

'Miss Miller's gone out to play poker,' said Eleanor, 'but Brittany and Jeanette are up in our room.'

'Oh. Okay.'

'Good. So, let's just go from "Tracy, if I don't kiss you now".'

'Right,' said Alvin, looking down at his script. 'Um. Tracy, if I don't kiss you now I just might bust a gut.'

'Well,' said Eleanor, 'I certainly wouldn't want you to hurt yourself.'

She then began leaning towards Alvin with her lips puckered. Alvin leaned in as well, but then Eleanor drew back and said, 'Actually, can you take off your hat?'

'Um, okay.' Alvin reached up and removed his baseball cap, then sat holding it in his lap and twiddling his fingers. 'Are you sure you're okay with this, Eleanor?'

'Well, I'll have to be, won't I?'

'Yes, you will. You were the one saying it wasn't a big deal a moment ago.'

'Well,' said Eleanor, 'if I had the choice I'd rather _not_ kiss you. No offence.'

Alvin looked most put out at this.

'I suppose,' Eleanor went on hastily, 'Theodore's okay with this?'

'He hasn't mentioned it,' said Alvin. 'I did try to bring it up two nights ago, but Simon wouldn't let me talk about it. Of course, deep down, Theodore is probably terrified by the very thought of me kissing you, even if it _is_ only acting. It can't be easy for him, _or_ Simon, having an attractive and charismatic older brother.'

'You're only a few minutes older, Alvin.'

'So what? Aren't we straying from the point here? Are we going to kiss or not?'

'Yes, we are,' said Eleanor. 'Say your line again, Alvin.'

'Okay.' Alvin cleared his throat and said, more confidently this time, 'Tracy, if I don't kiss you soon I just might bust a gut.'

'Well,' Eleanor said again, 'I certainly wouldn't want you to hurt yourself.'

Again they leaned towards each other, and this time they managed to touch lips. It lasted for barely a second, however, as they snapped apart at the sound of an angry voice saying, 'Oh, I'm sorry - am I interrupting something?'

'Of course not, Brittany,' Alvin said brightly, forcing an awkward smile. 'Please, come and join us. No, wait, that didn't comeout right. I mean -'

'We're just practising for the show, Brittany,' said Eleanor.

'Oh, sure,' said Brittany, crossing her arms and turning her back on them. 'I've heard _that_ one before. Couldn't you at least have come up with something original?'

Alvin and Eleanor exchanged a blank look. Then Alvin said, 'Perhaps I'd better go.'

'Yes,' said Brittany. 'Perhaps you'd better.'

Alvin got to his feet, pulled on his cap and mooched out of the room. He kept his gaze on Brittany as he passed her, but she refused to meet his eye.

'Brittany,' said Eleanor, when they heard the front door close. 'Don't you think you're overreacting? You knew I was going to have to kiss him.'

'You don't have to kiss him for weeks. Why start rehearsing it so soon?'

'Because I didn't want it hanging over me. Anyway, why are you so upset? You said you didn't care who Alvin kissed.'

'I don't,' said Brittany. Then she thought for a moment before adding, 'But no one wants him kissing their little sister.'

'Well,' said Eleanor, 'I'm afraid you're just going to have to put up with it. Look, let's talk about something else. How are you getting on with "Cooties"?'

'Terrible!' said Brittany, seeming to forget all about her indignation. 'I can't do a comedy routine, Eleanor - I'm just not funny.'

'Well, that's too bad. It's not just the song - Amber's supposed to be a funny character. People won't like watching you being bratty unless you're funny with it.'

'Ugh! Why couldn't we have just done _Grease_ or something? I'd make such a great Sandy, and there isn't even a kiss in the script.'

'I'm sorry I have to kiss Alvin, Brittany.'

'I bet you are. So, just how bad was it?'

'Oh,' said Eleanor, 'it was horrible. I don't think I'll do it again before the dress rehearsal. Now, would you like me to see if I can help you with this song?'

'Well,' said Brittany, 'we might as well try. I have to do _something_ about it. Maybe cutting it out of the show isn't such a bad idea.'

'Don't be silly. Like you said, the finale wouldn't make sense - I can't be the only one to lay on a performance in the final of the pageant. Come on, let's get Jeanette down here and we'll see what we can do.'

-.-.-

Rehearsals were to begin in earnest at school the next day, and there was much discussion about the show that evening. Leaning against the side of the bath while Theodore cleaned his teeth, Simon asked, 'Are you feeling okay about tomorrow, Theodore?'

'I feel fine,' said Theodore. 'How about you, Alvin? I hear Brittany's pretty upset about finding you kissing Eleanor this afternoon.'

Alvin's head popped out from behind the shower curtain, demanding, 'How do you know about that?'

'Eleanor told me.'

'Jeez, Theodore, don't you two have any secrets from each other?'

'Sure we do,' said Theodore, as Alvin disappeared back into the shower. 'She doesn't know I ate an entire cheesecake in an hour when I was worried about Dave being sick that time. And she doesn't know I'm nervous about playing Edna.'

'Well,' said Alvin, 'she did ask me if… never mind.'

'You mean you're _not_ okay with it?' asked Simon.

'No, I'm fine,' said Theodore. 'But everyone gets nervous. _You_ must be nervous.'

'I'm not nervous,' said Alvin.

'You're not normal,' said Simon.

'I don't want you to worry about me, Simon,' said Theodore. 'I'm capable of making my own decisions.'

'What about your costumes?' asked Alvin. 'Do you still want me to do those?'

'Oh… no, that's okay,' said Theodore, hesitating only for a moment. 'You're much too busy.'

'Well,' said Alvin, 'I _am_ kind of busy. I've got soccer practice tomorrow, and football practice on Wednesdays, and basketball practice on Thursdays, and I'm _in_ the show… but I'll do your costumes if you want, Theodore. I'm not going to make you get fitted by girls if you're not comfortable with it. Pass me a towel, somebody.'

'It's okay, Alvin,' said Theodore, as Simon responded to the request for a towel. 'I'll never be able to play the part unless I'm comfortable in my own skin, and part of that is letting girls measure me and try dresses on me.'

Alvin smiled behind his towel, while Simon clapped his little brother on the shoulder and said, 'Good for you, Theodore.'

-.-.-

Mr Rochelle was not happy about his two leads missing the after school rehearsal to go to soccer practice, and he was even less pleased to learn that Alvin planned to disappear on Wednesday and Thursday afternoons as well.

'I cannot go through another _Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde_, Alvin!' he said, emphasising his words with dramatic gestures. 'If you have to drop out of the lead again, I'll just die!'

'Don't sweat it, Mr Rochelle,' said Alvin. 'I'm a professional.'

'You know, Mr Rochelle,' said Brittany, appearing at Alvin's side, 'I have cheerleading practice two afternoons a week.'

'What?' said Mr Rochelle, looking at her for a moment as though he had never seen her before. 'Oh, that's okay, sweetheart. You don't have nearly as much to do.'

At this Brittany began to fume quietly and, with a poisonous look at Alvin, she stalked into the wings and buried her face in her script.

-.-.-

At half past four, Alvin and Eleanor walked home from soccer practice together, having just missed the departure of the _Hairspray _cast and crew.

'You know,' said Eleanor, as they approached their houses, 'maybe you should talk to Brittany. I think she was upset by what Mr Rochelle said earlier.'

'How is that my problem?' said Alvin. 'She's _your_ sister.'

'Right,' said Eleanor, frowning slightly. 'I'll see you tomorrow, then.'

She headed for her front door, and Alvin for his. Once inside, he went straight to the fridge and helped himself to a soda.

'Alvin,' said Simon, appearing behind him. 'I have to tell you something. When we arrived home earlier, Brittany goosed me outside the gate.'

Alvin spat half the contents of his soda can all over himself. Then he wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve, and said, 'So?'

'_So_,' said Simon, 'will you please go and talk to her? I think she did it because she's still upset about what happened yesterday.'

'She's not upset about what happened yesterday. She doesn't _care_ about anything that happened yesterday. She's upset about what Mr Rochelle said.'

'Well, then she's still upset, isn't she? Please just go over there and see her.'

'All right, Simon, if it means that much to you.'

'It does,' said Simon, as Alvin passed him.

-.-.-

Brittany was staring morosely at her script, and having her shoulder patted by Jeanette, when the doorbell rang. Eleanor answered it, and moments later she brought Alvin into the living room and pulled Jeanette out into the hallway.

'What do _you_ want?' asked Brittany, throwing down her script and getting to her feet.

'I was just wondering,' Alvin said slowly, 'if you wanted to help me practise my song, seeing as I missed the after school rehearsal and everything.'

'Why would I do that?' asked Brittany, frowning. 'Eleanor backs you up on that - why don't you sing it with her?'

'Oh, well,' said Alvin, 'she's probably sick of me after all that soccer practice, and she has so many other songs to learn, and… well, I'd rather sing it with you.'

'You would?'

'Sure I would.'

'Oh. Well… okay then. The CD's already in the machine, if you want to put it on.'

Alvin switched on the CD player and selected track six, then began to sing along to the music without the aid of his script. Brittany needed hers, however, and she skimmed through the lyrics while Alvin warbled his way through the first four verses. Then, when he reached the lines, '_So come closer, baby, and whisper in my ear_,' Brittany belted out a loud and long, '_Yea-ea-ea-eah!_' in obedience to the stage directions, which stipulated, 'in anything but a whisper'.

'_That you're my girl…_' Alvin sang.

'_I'm your girl_,' Brittany responded.

'_And I'm your boy._'

'_You're my boy…_'

So they went on for another two couplets and a few refrains, finally finishing on a long and slow, '_It takes two-oo-oo-oo-oo-ooh_.'

When they had finished, there was a moment of silence. Then Brittany said, 'Well, did that help?'

'Absolutely,' said Alvin. 'I just… wanted to make sure I knew it. So how's _your_ solo coming?'

'Oh.' Brittany looked at her feet.

'What's wrong?'

'I'm… having some trouble with it. See, I'm not… I'm not…'

Alvin moved a step closer to her. 'You're not what?'

'I'm not funny!' she blurted, and then she flung her arms around his neck and began to sob. 'I can't do it, Alvin! I can't play the part! It's not enough to be beautiful and talented with a show like this. Oh, why couldn't we have just done _Grease_?'

'Aww, Brittany, don't cry,' said Alvin, patting her awkwardly on the back. 'You can be funny if you just practise.'

'I can't! I'm not an all-round entertainer like…'

'Like…?'

'No one.' She moved away from him suddenly, sniffed and wiped away the tears. 'I didn't mean that. It's just… well, you were pretty funny on Saturday, weren't you? How did you _do_ that? Weren't you worried about looking silly?'

'You mean "Welcome to the Sixties"?' said Alvin. 'Well, I wouldn't have done that for just anybody. I was trying to make it fun for Theodore. Maybe you need to think less about yourself and more about your audience.' He went to the sofa where she had dropped her script, picked it up and flicked to 'Cooties' near the back. 'See, you won't look silly doing this unless you _feel_ silly. You could make this really good.'

'How do you know that?'

'Because I can just imagine how it should go. Look, I'll tell you what. Why don't I show you how I think _you_ could perform this song so that everyone will laugh? With you,' he added, 'not _at_ you.'

'Really?' said Brittany. 'You'd do that for me, Alvin?'

'Sure, why not? I'm in a helpful mood. I already sewed like a thousand sequins on that dress for Theodore. And before you ask, I'm not doing that for you too.'

'Just the song, then,' said Brittany, unable to keep from smiling. 'That would really help me out, Alvin - thank you! Do you need a dress or a wig or anything?'

'No,' Alvin said pointedly, as he made his way to the CD player. Then he thought for a moment, and said, 'Well, if you have one of those stiff skirt things from the sixties… that's what Amber wears, right?'

'Oh, sure, I have some of those in my vintage clothes collection,' said Brittany. 'Are you going to use it to do a dance or something?'

'Yes,' said Alvin, frowning in concentration at the lyrics. 'Well, maybe.'

'This ought to be good.'

'Yeah, well, you'll owe me big time.'

-.-.-

Over the next few weeks, Alvin helped Brittany with her solo a few times more, when she was in a frame of mind to ask him, and rehearsals at school began to go very well. When he saw what Brittany had done with 'Cooties', Mr Rochelle began quietly instructing the female ensemble in how to back her up, and gave nothing away until they had performed a flawless rendition in full costume.

'Sweetheart,' he said, sitting three rows back from the stage and looking up at Brittany, his fingers pressed together and his face blank. 'There was never any question that you could sing in a trio with your sisters, lead a dance troupe or act like a brat. But I did not know what to expect from that solo routine. Well let me tell you, Brittany Miller, that was _amazing_! You _are_ Amber! You _live_ Amber! That, my dear, was what we in the business call a rounded performance. _Brava_!'

'Huh,' said Alvin, who was mooching around in the wings with Eleanor and Jeanette. 'I notice she doesn't give _me_ credit for any of this. She'd have been quick enough to blame me if Mr Rochelle hadn't liked it.'

'Perhaps she thinks you'd rather not have it spread around,' said Eleanor. 'You'd be the first to complain if she told anyone you taught her that comedy skirt-swish.'

'Yeah, well,' said Alvin, 'she doesn't have to go into details. Just a _little_ bit of gratitude would be nice.'

'Alvin,' said Jeanette, clearly having heard nothing of the conversation so far. 'My dress feels very tight around the underarms, especially when I do those three beats of the twist. Do you think you could adjust it for me, please?'

'Well,' said Alvin, 'I'm not really doing - okay, fine, come over here.'

A second later, Brittany arrived to find Alvin with his arms around Jeanette's upper torso. He smiled sheepishly at her, but she evidently felt no need to complain. Instead she said, 'I think there could be a little more resistance in this skirt when I smack it around, Alvin. Is there anything you can do about that?'

'I am _not_ the costume department!' said Alvin. 'And let me make it clear that I don't actually _like_ making clothes. Ooh, Theodore, my dress looks great on you!'

'Thanks,' said Theodore, as he approached the group.

'Okay, people, get ready to rehearse the finale!' Mr Rochelle shouted to the auditorium at large. 'I need everyone on stage for this! Tracy, Link, Amber, Velma, Corny Collins and ensemble - on you come right now, please. Waiting in the wings I need Wilbur, Edna, Seaweed, Penny… Penny!'

'That's you, Jeanette,' hissed Eleanor.

'Oh.' Jeanette looked round, turning her attention away from Alvin's assault on her underarms. 'Yes, Mr Rochelle?'

'You should not be in your geek costume now! We're doing the finale!'

'Oh. Sorry.'

There was some delay as Jeanette disappeared into the costume cupboard. She called for Alvin to follow her, and threw her chequered dress over the top of the door at him. He then found a needle and thread and began solemnly making adjustments to the costume.

'Alvin!' cried Mr Rochelle. 'Enough costume making! You are my Link! Link Larkin does not sew!'

'Hey,' said Eleanor, appearing at Theodore's side. 'That dress really does look good, Theodore. Do you think I could have it after we've done the show?'

'Of course, Eleanor,' said Theodore. 'I probably won't wear it again, so I don't think Alvin will mind.'

'No, no, no!' cried Mr Rochelle, as Jeanette stumbled out of the cupboard on high heeled shoes and almost fell onto Alvin's sewing needle. 'Surely you can walk in those shoes by now! And take off your glasses!'

'Oh no, Mr Rochelle, I'm not ready!' cried Jeanette.

'Jeanette!' said Brittany, who had been wearing high heels all day, and she rushed over to her foundering sister. 'Remember what I told you. Come on, let me walk you round the stage a few times.'

'Oh, we'll never be ready in time!' cried Mr Rochelle, practically weeping. 'I can't go through another _Jekyll and Hyde_ - I just can't!'

'Eleanor,' said Theodore. 'I… I'm a little nervous about this finale.'

'We all are, Theodore. Is there any special reason for you to be more nervous than the rest of us?'

'Well… it's the "I like the way I am" line. I was feeling a lot better about playing Edna, but now we're getting so much closer to the real thing, I've started to remember why I was scared of performing to so many people. Even if I _do _like the way I am, it feels weird to get up there in front of everyone and sing about how fat I am.'

'But Theodore,' said Eleanor, 'you're not singing about how fat you are. You're singing about how confident you are, just like I am.'

'Playing Tracy doesn't scare you one little bit, does it?' Theodore said with a smile.

'Only as much as any other performance. I'm proud to be playing somebody who knows that it's okay to be just whoever you are, whether you're fat or thin, black or white, rich or poor, human or chipmunk…'

'That's not really an issue in the show, is it?'

'Not at all,' said Eleanor. 'It's funny how I'm the only chipmunk character with chipmunk parents, isn't it?'

'Okay, she can walk!' said Mr Rochelle. 'Places, people!'

'Oop, that's me,' said Eleanor.

'Wait.' Theodore grabbed her hand as she made to go. 'Eleanor, I'm feeling a little bit confident right now, so I just want to tell you… when we're rehearsing, and you tell me not to listen to people who just want to put me down because they're jerks… I know that's not just Tracy. So what I'm trying to say is… well… thank you.'

'Oh, Theodore…'

'PLACES!'

Eleanor squeezed Theodore's hand, and then made her way to centre stage to begin the whole cast rendition of 'You Can't Stop the Beat'.

-.-.-

The performance at last took place on a clear, warm evening late in May. The entire school day was spent in the preparation of the cast, the school orchestra, the props and scenery for the show. Spectators began to arrive about half an hour before the show was scheduled to start. As soon the auditorium started to fill, Theodore found himself peering through a small gap in the curtain, his brothers standing just behind him.

'Are you okay, Theodore?' Simon asked him.

'I'm fine, Simon,' Theodore said, in wavering tones. 'Just a little nervous.'

'Don't sweat it,' said Alvin. 'They'll all be looking at me.'

All three were in full costume, and Theodore had begun to feel rather self-conscious in the drab, frumpy dress he was to wear until he changed into Alvin's sequin-trimmed number about a third of the way into the show. He was also aware that he would have to take the red dress off and put it on again, and concentrated on worrying about that. Alvin was wearing a sixties-style jacket, tight jeans and a black wig with a kiss curl, while Simon had been kitted out in an unimaginative shirt and trousers.

'Here come Dave and Miss Miller,' said Theodore. 'Oh no, I can't remember any of my lines!'

'Calm down, Theodore,' said Simon, pulling his brother gently away from the curtain. 'This is completely normal. Once we get started, it'll all come back to you.'

'Hi, boys!' called Brittany, waving as she approached with her sisters. 'Alvin, do you like my beehive?'

'Do I like your what?' asked Alvin.

'My hair.'

'Oh. It's okay.'

Brittany scowled.

'You look like the sixties, Brittany,' said Theodore.

'Like Audrey Hepburn,' Simon added.

'I do, don't I?' said Brittany, smiling and patting her mound of stiffened hair. Her costume was a lace-trimmed pink strapless dress with several layers of stiff, fanning knee-length skirts, and a pair of white high-heeled ankle boots. Jeanette had on her simple chequered dress, which now fitted perfectly around her underarms, and her hair was in straggly pigtails. Eleanor wore a pencil skirt and white blouse, and her hair had been ratted to about three times its usual size.

'Is that all yours, Eleanor?' asked Simon, indicating the back of her head.

'Right now it is,' said Eleanor. She had, as everyone knew, a hairpiece lined up for when Tracy took her do to a new extreme halfway through Act One. '_Hairspray_ is the right name for this thing. Brittany and I have used up an entire bottle each.'

'Places, everyone,' said Mr Rochelle, in a voice too low to be heard by the audience. 'Eleanor, I need you in that bed right now. Everyone else, off, off, off!'

Alvin, Simon, Theodore, Brittany and Jeanette scampered off to the wings with the rest of the cast, while Eleanor slipped into the prop bed in which she was to start the show. The bed's surface faced the audience, and she stood behind the sheet with her head to one side and her eyes shut, giving the illusion of a bird's-eye view of her sleeping form. Then, almost at once, the orchestra started playing the rousing intro to 'Good Morning Baltimore'. Eleanor snapped her eyes open and began to sing.

'_Oh, oh, oh, woke up today…_'

In the wings, Jeanette leaned towards Brittany and whispered, 'Okay, Brittany?'

'Why wouldn't I be?' Brittany hissed back.

'Admit it,' Alvin said on her other side. 'It's killing you.'

Brittany silenced him with a slap on the arm. Then soon enough, the other five chipmunks were needed on stage. Eleanor's character had to drag Jeanette's home from school, where Theodore was doing his work as a laundress, so that they could watch - among others - Alvin and Brittany on TV in _The Corny Collins Show_. Meanwhile, Simon's character arrived home from work on Theodore and Eleanor's part of the stage, said a few lines and went largely unnoticed by the audience.

No one ever knew that Theodore felt a little uncomfortable when, as Edna, he explained to Simon why he wanted to keep their chubby daughter away from the beauty-obsessed media. He then provided backing, along with the other two mother characters, through the Chipettes' flawless rendition of 'Mama I'm a Big Girl Now'.

Next came another number from Eleanor, then one from the girl playing Brittany's mother, both backed up by other members of the cast. Then came Alvin's big moment. Everyone but Eleanor had to leave the stage while he sang 'It Takes Two' and pretended to play the guitar, Eleanor joining the vocals in the last verse.

'Look at Alvin, lapping up all that attention,' Brittany hissed to Jeanette. 'Doesn't it make you just sick?'

'Your moment's coming, Brittany,' Jeanette whispered back. 'You're doing the penultimate number, remember. Everyone will remember that.'

The next song was 'Welcome to the Sixties'. In this Eleanor, the girls playing The Dynamites and a few extras sang to Theodore about confidence and dressed him up in his Alvin Seville original. Brittany's character had to antagonise Tracy and Edna after that, led by her mother.

'Well,' said the girl playing the part, looking down her nose, 'you'll stop traffic.'

'Bye, Tracy,' Brittany said nastily, before disappearing back into the wings.

'Now, Mama!' said Eleanor, as Theodore's face crumpled into a look of sheer misery. 'Don't you listen to one word she says!'

They walked off holding hands when the scene was over, and Theodore gave Eleanor's a quick squeeze before she had to get back on stage. Brittany was in the next scene, attacking Eleanor during a dodgeball game. Then she had to make way for scenes involving Eleanor, Jeanette, Alvin and the boy playing Seaweed.

'I'm not sure I like playing a character everybody hates,' Brittany said to Simon, when she found him waiting in a corner. 'Not all pretty girls are mean, you know - that's a negative stereotype. I really hope we'll do _Grease_ next year. I can do pretty and sweet standing on my head.'

'You might not get picked for the lead,' said Simon, 'whatever we do.'

'No,' said Brittany. 'I never do, do I? My beehive's not flagging, is it?'

'It looks stiff as a board to me.'

'Good.'

Brittany had to wait several minutes before going on stage to try and drag Alvin away from Eleanor and friends' civil rights demonstration. This scene marked the end of Act One, with almost all of the female cast being arrested when the demonstration turned into a full-scale riot.

'Wow,' said Eleanor, sinking onto the first chair she could find. 'This show is exhausting!'

'You're doing beautifully, sweetheart,' said Mr Rochelle. 'Remember, we're more than halfway through!'

The second act was indeed shorter than the first. It opened with a song from everyone who was in prison, then progressed through a reprise of 'Good Morning Baltimore', followed by the song Alvin, Eleanor and Jeanette sang with the boy playing Seaweed. Soon after that came Simon and Theodore's rendition of 'You're Timeless to Me'. Brittany sat through all of it looking twitchy, but then a powerful ballad about the arduous pursuit of a world without prejudice seemed to sober her. Simon, who was also waiting in the wings, noticed her sudden loss of eagerness.

'Are you okay?' he asked her.

'My solo's coming up,' said Brittany. 'I'm just a little… well…'

'Nervous?'

'Is my beehive really okay?'

'It's fine, but I'll give you another squirt of hairspray if you want.'

'Oh, that would be wonderful. Thank you, Simon.'

When at last Brittany came out to perform 'Cooties' on _The Corny Collins _show, the nerves did not show at all. Alvin stood watching the wings, biting his lip and giving nothing away.

'Tracy Turnblad,' Brittany said in her most obnoxious voice, 'this is for you.'

Then she began to sing, trying to maintain the comical silliness in her voice and swishing her skirts around stupidly, just as Alvin had shown her.

'_Long tailed, sharp nailed, fuzzy legs, laying eggs…_ Eww, get 'em away from me, get 'em away from me, _ewww_!' she squealed, frantically beating the imaginary 'cooties' off her skirt, whose buoyancy brought a whole extra dimension to the routine. To Brittany's delight, everyone in the audience laughed.

Then it was a sprint to the finish. After a few shenanigans involving the TV station's security staff, Eleanor turned up to lead the entire cast into the relentless 'You Can't Stop the Beat', which lasted for a good ten minutes with the occasional interruption by characters, including Alvin and Eleanor's kiss.

'Tracy, if I don't kiss you now I just might bust a gut.'

'Well, I certainly wouldn't want you to hurt yourself.'

They got through it like true professionals, and afterwards no one ever spoke of it again. Meanwhile the newly glamorised Jeanette, without even her glasses to guide her, fell over in her high heels only once. She was caught by Simon, with whom she had crossed paths perhaps once or twice during the performance.

'After all,' he said to her, as they walked off after the final curtain, 'you _are_ my daughter's best friend. It makes sense that we'd acknowledge one another.'

-.-.-

The after party was not as energetic as the one that had taken place after Mr Rochelle's last production. Dave and Miss Miller found the Chipmunks and Chipettes sprawled on some gym equipment in a dark corner.

'Oh, girls, you were wonderful!' said Miss Miller. 'And Eleanor, you were in practically every scene! You must be so proud of yourself.'

Eleanor, who was slumped over the top of the vaulting horse, answered with a groan.

'No song this time, guys?' asked Dave.

'We figured everyone had had enough songs for one night, Dave,' said Simon.

'I can never sing again,' said Eleanor. 'My voice hurts and my feet hurt and I absolutely insist that somebody else play the lead next year.'

'Maybe we should all put in a word for _Grease_,' said Brittany.

'Awesome!' said Alvin, with more energy than the others possessed. 'I can use the same wig again. Well, I'd have to cut off the kiss curl, of course.'

'You're quite the costumer, aren't you, Alvin?' said Dave. 'I told you, didn't I? The well trodden path -'

'Rarely leads to discovery,' said Alvin. 'I know. But I'd just like to remind everyone that I do not _like_ making clothes. I just happen to be really, really good at it.'

'Thanks for adjusting my costume, Alvin,' said Jeanette. 'I was really quite comfortable right up until I had to change into that sparkly thing and high heels.'

'No problem,' said Alvin. 'What about you, Brittany? Did your skirt have enough resistance?'

'I can't tell,' said Brittany. 'I'd have to watch my performance back.'

'Well,' said Alvin, 'I think it did. I must have done a really good job, because that "Cooties" routine… well, it looked pretty good from where I was standing.'

They exchanged the briefest of smiles, then Alvin turned to his youngest brother and asked, 'How was it for you, Theodore?'

'Good,' said Theodore. 'It was good,' and he and Eleanor also exchanged a smile.

'Simon?' said Jeanette, turning to face him.

'I thought it was a great success,' said Simon. 'Everyone performed brilliantly. Alvin, I absolutely bought your performance as a fame-obsessed young fool.'

'Why, thank you, Simon,' said Alvin. 'And I must say, you excelled yourself as a middle-aged man.'

'Well, isn't that just fine?' said Miss Miller. 'Now, if you kids are really all that tired, would you like us to just take you home?'

'Yes please, Miss Miller,' Eleanor said sleepily.

'And to think, Dave,' Alvin said, as they walked to the car. 'I didn't blow up the auditorium once! In fact, I've been like a godsend throughout this whole thing, fixing people's costumes and helping them with their performances and stuff. I think someone as selfless as that deserves some kind of a reward.'

'A reward isn't a reward if you ask for it, Alvin.'

'Who's asking?' said Alvin. 'It was merely an observation, Dave.'

'Well, we don't need to hear about it now. Everyone's exhausted, so could you please just be quiet for a while?'

'Not if it means changing who I am.'

'Alvin…'

'You can't stop the beat, Dave.'

'ALVIN!'


End file.
